And my horoscope told me that it would be a good day to process things on paper so here I am.
That might have looked like a lot to read, but it only took a few seconds, didn’t it?
Anyway, I’ve got some emotional baggage going on this morning and I luckily already read an article about it. It was entitled “How to remove attachment to past relationships.”
Does that sound like something you need? I know it’s something I need.
By the way, as I write this, Ze Frank is narrating it in my head which is why there has been almost no punctuation up to this point.
Anyway, I think that learning to let go of past relationships is really important and earlier this week I saw something about how seeing an ex on Facebook actually makes the detaching and healing process WORSE and take longer.
2 things: 1) When I say “letting go” of past relationships, in my experience, that doesn’t mean letting go of the relationships itself. We’re all big people and we can handle anything that comes our way. I think it means letting go of one’s attachments to the relationships, our expectations of it and beliefs about what it “should” be in order for us to be happy. As if what we have isn’t already good enough. Sometimes I have a hard time remembering that what I have is good enough and even to be grateful for the things that cause me pain because pain is growth, but you know. Growing. Learning. It’s a slower process than I’d like sometimes. And isn’t that me “shoulding” on myself for needing to get better? Better?
2) When I say “ex” I don’t mean someone you used to date. I think I mean someone who has affected you in a big way and, like I said, someone you have particular expectations or unfulfilled desires about. In my experience, those desires have nothing to do with the person and everything to do with me. This person became a channel for my neuroses, or my neuroses came out more with them, or whatever. I formed a great big attachment and told a great big story and now none of it is coming true and I’m like “shit.” Ta da.
What’s your story?
Also, I’m not resolving this because I simultaneously have and haven’t resolved this for me, so how can I resolve it for you? Also, I think I’ve put my best guesses at how this particular situation works, so we can go from there.