Some of you may have noticed yesterday's post was pretty bleak. I definitely had those feelings and I don't regret them at all.
I realize, though, that in the midst of having them, I was making my world a whole lot worse by having negative feelings about those feelings.
If you checked out the page http://www.metanoia.org/ which I posted yesterday, you might have seen a section which discussed shaming and suicide. It talks about the stigmas surrounding suicidal feelings and depression, about how people "shouldn't feel so bad," their "circumstances don't justify this," or whatever.
The reality of it is, though, when you feel a certain way, you feel a certain way. That's not to say it won't change (it will), but it's important to remember that in the midst of having those feelings, it's really valuable to let yourself have them.
This post is the necessary follow-up to yesterday's somewhat out of control post. The moral here is: when you are in moments of deep emotion, you don't have to act on it. You don't have to get to the other side. You don't (necessarily) need relief, and if you do, give it to yourself consciously. Brene Brown talks about the power of conscious numbing when the emotions are just too strong. It's like giving yourself a time out, saying "I'm overstimulated right now, so I'm going to go put myself in my room/ in front of the tv/ in the fridge until I feel like I can handle this more calmly (which, by the way, is the real purpose of the time out. Not punishment. Cool down time. More on that some day?)
Anyway, this brings up another important point: not making decisions in a heightened emotional state goes both ways. In my experience, we live in a society which prizes the "good" feelings: happiness, joy, etc. However, I'm not sure we have many good fail-safes to be vigilant for mania, feeling so good that we lose touch with reality and act in ways out of accordance with a sober mind. If you want to know more, read on in Section 2...
I realize, though, that in the midst of having them, I was making my world a whole lot worse by having negative feelings about those feelings.
If you checked out the page http://www.metanoia.org/ which I posted yesterday, you might have seen a section which discussed shaming and suicide. It talks about the stigmas surrounding suicidal feelings and depression, about how people "shouldn't feel so bad," their "circumstances don't justify this," or whatever.
The reality of it is, though, when you feel a certain way, you feel a certain way. That's not to say it won't change (it will), but it's important to remember that in the midst of having those feelings, it's really valuable to let yourself have them.
This post is the necessary follow-up to yesterday's somewhat out of control post. The moral here is: when you are in moments of deep emotion, you don't have to act on it. You don't have to get to the other side. You don't (necessarily) need relief, and if you do, give it to yourself consciously. Brene Brown talks about the power of conscious numbing when the emotions are just too strong. It's like giving yourself a time out, saying "I'm overstimulated right now, so I'm going to go put myself in my room/ in front of the tv/ in the fridge until I feel like I can handle this more calmly (which, by the way, is the real purpose of the time out. Not punishment. Cool down time. More on that some day?)
Anyway, this brings up another important point: not making decisions in a heightened emotional state goes both ways. In my experience, we live in a society which prizes the "good" feelings: happiness, joy, etc. However, I'm not sure we have many good fail-safes to be vigilant for mania, feeling so good that we lose touch with reality and act in ways out of accordance with a sober mind. If you want to know more, read on in Section 2...
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