Lately I've been trying to give myself more room to feel those feelings instead of just getting upset that I'm upset, angry that I'm angry. It helps me avoid the trap of feeling bad that I feel bad, thinking that I need to be perfect, or that perfect is somehow "out there" and isn't what's going on in me already. It's the same thinking that says "I'll be happy when..." Why wait? Be happy now.
How? By saying yes to the present circumstances, both internal and external. If you're sad, say "OK, I'm sad, and that's where I am right now." Not forever, just for right now. Maybe the second you realize it, it starts to shift and go away. But you have to recognize it first. Denial is an ugly color on anyone, and you can't start to heal a situation until you accept that you're in it.
It can take time to realize you've fallen into a mental pit, and then to accept that it's OK. And that's OK, too. But as you practice giving yourself space, you develop compassion for yourself. As you develop compassion for yourself, you can develop it for others. When you're allowed to hurt, others are allowed to hurt. Then, together, we can walk hand in hand toward healing.
How? By saying yes to the present circumstances, both internal and external. If you're sad, say "OK, I'm sad, and that's where I am right now." Not forever, just for right now. Maybe the second you realize it, it starts to shift and go away. But you have to recognize it first. Denial is an ugly color on anyone, and you can't start to heal a situation until you accept that you're in it.
It can take time to realize you've fallen into a mental pit, and then to accept that it's OK. And that's OK, too. But as you practice giving yourself space, you develop compassion for yourself. As you develop compassion for yourself, you can develop it for others. When you're allowed to hurt, others are allowed to hurt. Then, together, we can walk hand in hand toward healing.
RSS Feed
