For the last few days, I have had a lot inside: a lot of energy, a lot of excitement, a lot of desire to write, to pursue creative careers, to move on, to do more and more and more. Sometimes this feels really good, like I’m heading in some direction and feeling galvanized to pursue the things I enjoy, like an arrow racing for a target.
Other times, though, it feels out of balance, like there’s too much trying to get through at once. I’ve been really practicing slowing down my internal stuff lately, and maybe this is the backlash of that, but you know, it’s just a little hard to deal with.
Even now, my head is buzzing with ideas flying around so wildly, it’s hard to pin down the one I want to write into a sentence.
This has resulted in several writing purges to get these thoughts out and explode them onto paper. I want to share them with you, but I’m worried they’re a little too mind dumpy and not quite coherent.
So. That’s where things are today.
If there’s a big moral in this for me, it is: ride it out. I’ve had manic episodes before. I’ve had depressed episodes before. Am I bipolar? I don’t think so. But that doesn’t mean I don’t go to extremes every now and then, when mellow slips into depression or happiness turns into a lack of perspective and a loss of touch with reality.
So I try to stay aware and keep my feet on the ground as much as possible, to feel my weight in the floor and remember that sensation is more real life than the fantasies in my head.
And I guess that’s it.
It calms me down.
I might take a break from writing for a little while.
I might not.
We'll see.
Other times, though, it feels out of balance, like there’s too much trying to get through at once. I’ve been really practicing slowing down my internal stuff lately, and maybe this is the backlash of that, but you know, it’s just a little hard to deal with.
Even now, my head is buzzing with ideas flying around so wildly, it’s hard to pin down the one I want to write into a sentence.
This has resulted in several writing purges to get these thoughts out and explode them onto paper. I want to share them with you, but I’m worried they’re a little too mind dumpy and not quite coherent.
So. That’s where things are today.
If there’s a big moral in this for me, it is: ride it out. I’ve had manic episodes before. I’ve had depressed episodes before. Am I bipolar? I don’t think so. But that doesn’t mean I don’t go to extremes every now and then, when mellow slips into depression or happiness turns into a lack of perspective and a loss of touch with reality.
So I try to stay aware and keep my feet on the ground as much as possible, to feel my weight in the floor and remember that sensation is more real life than the fantasies in my head.
And I guess that’s it.
It calms me down.
I might take a break from writing for a little while.
I might not.
We'll see.
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